Glad to be on the Potter's Wheel

I am so glad to be on The Potter's Wheel. Jim and I both are. There are countless rough edges and imperfections in our clay. Sometimes I just feel like a big, old gray blob without any hope of beauty. Only His hands can mold me and make me into the treasure that He envisions. So often I am on the wheel almost shouting my requests to The Potter. I don't mean to and sometimes I don't even realize that I am doing it at the time. But I think I know what is best. I think I know "The best plan" that makes "the most sense". So I tell Him that plan. And then I get frustrated when it doesn't work out like I wrote the script. It's almost like He didn't even read my script.

I always... always... look back later and am so grateful that He didn't follow my script. His plan is always better. Always wiser.

You'd think that one day I would learn that lesson. Once and for all. :)

We have been on the Potter's Wheel for a long time now as we have traveled this adoption journey. And so little has gone as we expected. It has taken longer. Been more expensive. More complicated. More emotionally exhausting. More spiritually stretching.

But as Jim said this week, "Those are life lessons that you can't buy at the store."

Like so many trials in life, we wouldn't trade it.

We started this journey with a heart to obey a calling we felt by God. We have felt so blessed in our lives with our 5 children...we felt it was the least we could do- to open up our home to give another child a family and a sense of home and security. But this journey is about so much more. There is so much more that we have learned. So many ways that we have grown in our dependence and faith in The Creator- ways we have grown closer as a married couple-- numerous opportunities to teach our children about the needs beyond our safe little world-- our hearts have been expanded for things of Him. It has made us hunger for more of that.

So, I continue to sit as the gray "thing" on His wheel as it turns. We are supposed to go to court next week to adopt our little guy. But there is still one outstanding piece that keeps us from being able to do so. So despite the fact that hotel reservations have been made and flight arrangements made and visas in the mail... we may not go. Bummer. Don't understand why that is best. But it must be for some reason. The door is not totally closed for next week but quickly approaching. And if that happens... well, must be best.. and we will be shaped a little more.