So Many Layers

As we settle back into normal life in the Snyder household, the processing is slowly beginning. While in Russia, too much was going on. Too much, too fast. We were kept very busy going from the orphanage to various government offices.... papers were being translated for us to sign, presents were handed out to appropriate persons, and smiles exchanged with this most precious new son of ours. Our eyes, ears and noses were filled with cigarette smoke, diesel fumes, and the gray coldness of Russia in winter. Our hearts were filled with the sovereignty of the Lord and the joy of meeting another one of His children- soon to be ours.

Spiritually, physically and emotionally, this has been a difficult journey. But that is where the gift lies. The Bible is very clear. God never promised an easy life. God never promised that following His will would be easy. I was reading James this morning and was reminded: "Consider it pure joy , my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. " I know I will never be complete until I reach Heaven. But I do want to be mature. I do want to grow in my faith . I do want to be humbly on my knees, dependent upon Him for my life. This journey sure puts me there.

The thought of getting on those planes again... that is probably the hardest part for me. That is when my fears overwhelm me. I look around at those around me and fear for my safety. I fear that I will never return to hug my 5 children that await at home. But I have to get on that plane... 8 times for each trip. While flying from Munich to Washington DC last week, security was tight and fear was thick in the air. Everyone watched you if you rose fromn your seat. Stewardesses paced up and down the aisles. I admit to quietly crying the first half hour of the flight. At one point I whispered to Jim, "Next time, I want a private jet".

And we have 3 more trips. AHHHH! Fear and the desire to avoid that gripping fear almost ... well it almost causes me to rethink the whole thing: "I can't do it! It scares me too much. The plane rides, the toll on my other children, the expenses that keep multiplying, the uncomfortableness I feel in this unknown culture, the lack of control I have in all parts of this.." These thoughts flood my mind. The enemy knows my weakness.

I read a quote recently that went something like this: "Stop telling God how big your storm is and start telling your storm how big your God is." Wow! That helps.

I love God. I trust God.. with my life. He has called us to adopt this wonderful ,beautiful little boy of His in a distant land. So I will obey.

We will continue to take one step at a time. One plane ride at a time. One bill at a time.

I keep picturing his little face. I keep opening God's Word to find strength and direction.

This life isn't about the world about us that we can see. His purposes are much farther reaching. As a brother in Christ recently said on his adoption journey, "I am realizing that God's agenda is much bigger than my own."

To God be the Glory.